I've just realized that really for my entire life it's...I don't know the exact word for it, been my path to find love. I've never been tied to other vocations like art, or even writing when I wrote a lot. Not school, or a particular field of study. Always just interested in love. Finding it, keeping it, worshiping it. And finally I'm sick of it. This kind of..dedication to finding love comes with pluses and cons. On the good side, you can be sure you'll love being in love when it does happen. Bad side: Sensitive, obsessive, and always a possibility of a broken heart. Now, people out there, if you think you know someone like this, if you're considering them as a potential love-mate, realize that they're looking for commitment. Not just commitment in the way we Americans think of it, they want your utter soul. They want every feeling, every thought of yours. Because that's how they are about you. They would give up everything in them for you. But yeah. I'm sick of being hurt. I'm sick of men who don't really care about me, or having me. I know it sounds all horribly emo, but truly. I'm trying to find what I really want and what I believe underneath all of this shit. Isn't it disgusting....how easy people's beliefs and thoughts change based on how they're treated. It's not that I feel unloved. Just...in love I need someone where I will be their life. Because they will be mine.